


cannibals r us™

by joshfun



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AHH, Crack Fic, M/M, i don't fucking know, i mainly write these in school, i write these when i'm super bored, text fic, which is most of the time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2018-09-23 03:03:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 60
Words: 6,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9638102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshfun/pseuds/joshfun
Summary: texts back and forth between dan and phil





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is such a random crack fic text thing 
> 
> also the title comes from the group chat of me and my friends on kik

danny: yo philly

philly: wot

danny: ur gay

philly: so r u

danny: ;))


	2. Chapter 2

philly: daaaaan

danny: what

philly: where are you

danny: at tesco

philly: can you get more cereal

danny: you mean MY cereal

philly: OUR cereal

danny: bitch you keep eating MY cereal

philly: but daaaaaan

danny: no buts ;))

philly: fine then can you get me a chocolate bar

philly: ???

danny: fine you twat

philly: :)) YAY


	3. Chapter 3

philly: what time do we leave tomorrow

danny: yes

philly: dan seriously

danny: yes

philly: i’m gonna block you

danny: yes

philly: *sends screenshot of dan being blocked*

danny: yes

philly: what was that ???

philly: i couldn’t hear you

danny: yes

philly: :(( fine

danny: yes

philly: goodbye :((

danny: yes


	4. Chapter 4

philly: do you want to come watch tv with me

danny: what show

philly: steven universe

danny: sign me the fuck up

philly: since you’re getting up can you make some popcorn

danny: no you do it

philly: no u

danny: no u

philly: no u

danny: no u

philly: fine

danny: >:-)


	5. Chapter 5

danny: do we really need to film a new gaming vid today

philly: yeah i want to get some videos filmed and edited before we leave for vidcon

danny: ugh

philly: i mean we don’t have to but then we’d leave our subscribers unhappy

danny: fuck them, all i want to do is cuddle

philly: fine

danny: :))


	6. Chapter 6

philly: turn down your music

danny: no

philly: pLEASE

danny: no

philly: if you don’t i will

danny: then do it u rat

philly: i wILL

danny: well i don’t see you doing it

philly: i’m too comfy in bed

danny: can i join

philly: no

danny: but i want cuddles

philly: you should know i was joking

danny: brb on my way


	7. Chapter 7

danny: hey phil

philly: what??

danny: guess what

philly: what???

danny: i h8 you

philly: i love you too

danny: shut up you spork

philly: i know you love me, i know you care

danny: i’m blocking you

philly: dAN NOOOOO

danny: then shut up you rat

philly: fine :(

danny: :)


	8. Chapter 8

danny: yo yo yo what’s up bitch

philly: the ceiling

danny: wow

philly: well you asked

danny: smartass

philly: ;)

danny: but seriously

philly: browsing the internet, what else??

danny: true

philly: why

danny: i wanna cuddle

philly: come here then

danny: but i'm already comfy

philly: as am i

danny: :(

philly: then no cuddles for you

danny: make room

philly: already did bear

danny: :))


	9. Chapter 9

philly: daaaan

philly: i'm bored

philly: dAN

philly: PLEASE

philly: WHY

philly: AREN'T

philly: YOU

philly: ANSWERING

philly: ME

danny: new phone who dis

philly: DAN

danny: so you're dan too

philly: no you kNOW WHO I AM

danny: nah

philly: i'm blocking you this time

danny: dO IT

philly: what was that???

danny: >:-)


	10. Chapter 10

philly: what do you want for dinner

danny: you ;))

philly: actual food you trash bin

danny: i was referring to becoming a cannibal but okay

danny: now i know you have a dirtier mind than me

philly: i know that you meant the other thing

danny: what me?? an innocent angel

philly: you know exactly what you meant

danny: ;))

philly: seriously though, what do you want for dinner

danny: mexican or italian idc

philly: okie dokie


	11. Chapter 11

danny: somebody once told me

philly: nO

danny: the world was gonna roll me

philly: PLEASE

danny: i ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

philly: yeah you are

danny: she was lookin’ kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb

philly: iN THE SHAPE OF AN L ON HER FOREHEAD

danny: WELL THE YEARS START COMING AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING

philly: FED TO THE RULES AND I HIT THE GROUND RUNNING

danny: DIDN'T MAKE SENSE NOT TO LIVE FOR FUN

philly: YOUR BRAIN GETS SMART BUT YOUR HEAD GETS DUMB

danny: SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE

philly: SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH TAKING THE BACK STREETS ;))

danny: i am done, we are done, this is over

philly: no please

danny: bye

philly: dan please


	12. Chapter 12

danny: i’m sad

philly: why

danny: i just retook the pottermore quiz and i got slytherin

philly: i thought you were in slytherin

danny: i thought i was in gryffindor :(

philly: well at least you’re not in hufflepuff

danny: my whole life has been a lie

philly: oh well i always thought you were in slytherin anyways

danny: :(((


	13. Chapter 13

philly: we

danny: ??

philly: are

danny: oh

philly: the

danny: crystal

philly: gems

danny: we’ll always save the day

philly: and if you think we can’t

danny: we’ll always find a way

philly: :))

danny: you better have not been watching it without me

philly: of course not

danny: how many have you watched

philly: okay you got me

danny: i asked how many

philly: 7

danny: 7 YOU WATCHED 7 EPISODES WITHOUT ME

philly: gotta blast

danny: philip michael lester you better get your ass over here and apologize

philly: #sorrynotsorry

danny: PHIL

philly: sorry

danny: you’re gonna be

philly: :0


	14. Chapter 14

philly: *sends a bunch of emojis without context*

danny: wtf

philly: update your phone :))

danny: why?

philly: NEW EMOJIS DAN

danny: but it takes to long to update

philly: DO IT

danny: i won’t be able to text you for like 15 minutes

philly: it’s worth it

danny: not to me

philly: but then we can discuss the new emojis together :(

philly: *sends the shia labeouf just do it video* 

danny: fine >:-(

philly: YAY


	15. Chapter 15

danny: phil why is our house so cold

philly: because our gas bill is ridiculous

danny: but it’s so cold

philly: cuddling is always available

danny: you’re just using this as an excuse to cuddle me

philly: :))

danny: since you’re like this i’m going to steal all your body heat

philly: it’s gonna cost you though

danny: OH REALLY NOW

danny: FIRST THAT AND NOW THIS

danny: WHAT IS IT

philly: forget it now

danny: what was it :(

philly: a kiss

danny: brb on my way

philly: ;))


	16. Chapter 16

philly: if we were to metaphorically get a dog what kind would we get

danny: obvs a shibe

philly: really??

danny: yes

philly: i was thinking like golden retriever

danny: that’d be cool too

philly: would we get a puppy or ??

danny: i want a puppy but training it would be hell

philly: true

danny: i dunno

philly: maybe an older puppy???

danny: yes

philly: yes

danny: are you implying you’re getting us a dog

philly: what me??

danny: yOU ARE

philly: no

danny: I LOVE YOU

philly: i love you too bear


	17. Chapter 17

danny: important question

philly: what

danny: favorite meme??

philly: that’s important?

danny: very

philly: persian room guardian

danny: ???

philly: look it up meme queen

danny: oh

philly: do you see now?

danny: i didn’t know what it was called

philly: says the meme queen

danny: i’m upset

philly: i’m disappoint

danny: you’re the physical embodiment of disappointment

philly: yes

danny: man me too

philly: no liNDA IT’S ME

danny: IT’S TOM

philly: NO I’M TOM YOU’RE LINDA

danny: WHO ARE WE

philly: NOT OURSELVES

danny: WE ARE EACH OTHER

philly: YES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my favorite chapter so far
> 
> this is based off a real conversation between me and my rat friend
> 
> also here's a link to the meme phil was referring to in the story   
> https://www.theodysseyonline.com/12-persian-cat-room-guardian-memes


	18. Chapter 18

danny: phil i have to pee

philly: why are you telling me this

danny: because i needed to stop thinking about it

philly: why

danny: because there isn’t a bathroom at the restaurant i’m at with my family

philly: well just think about me ;))

danny: oh god, that’d make it awkward

philly: just think about me cuddling you

danny: i miss you

philly: i miss you too bear

danny: man we’re too clingy

philly: not clingy enough

danny: at least i’ll be home in a few hours

philly: when you get home do you want to watch a movie

danny: yeah, you can pick it out too

philly: will do

danny: i love you

philly: i love you too

danny: you always make things better

philly: did i do good distracting you

danny: PHIL NOW I’M THINKING OF IT AGAIN

philly: I’M SORRY

danny: no your not

philly: yes i am

danny: no this is just some kink you have

philly: no thanks that’s gross

danny: i know right

philly: dan do you have that kink

philly: is that why you texted me

danny: NO THAT’S GROSS

philly: phew

danny: but i really have to piss

philly: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes that was lowkey kink shaming ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> valentine's day special

philly: you can’t come home right now

danny: why

philly: no reason

danny: phil i thought we agreed to not do anything for valentine’s day

philly: who said anything about valentine’s day

danny: that’s obviously why you don’t want me home

philly: nope, it has nothing to do with v-day

danny: of course it does

philly: no iT DOESN’T

danny: fine whatever

philly: good, come home at like noon or one

danny: that gives you like 2 hours to do what???

philly: nothing important

danny: fine whatever do you want me to bring you anything home from starbucks

philly: already had coffee but thank you

danny: ok i’ll just chill here

philly: good

_***a few hours and three coffees later*** _

danny: phil i’m on my way home

philly: okay

danny: i swear to god if you have done some cheesy ass shit i’m going to punch you

philly: of course i haven’t

danny: whatever you say philly

philly: ^.^


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> valentine's day special 2.0

danny: hey phil

philly: hi dan

danny: happy valentine’s day you spork

philly: happy valentine’s day to you too bear

danny: i think i’m ready

philly: for what??

danny: to come out

philly: really?

danny: yeah, i think it’s about time they know

philly: well they already kind of know

danny: i know but like i could still do my live show today but then like lowkey confirm it

philly: if that’s what you want to do i’m okay with that

danny: i’m just tired of hiding it

philly: so am i

danny: i love you

philly: i love you too

danny: ❤❤❤

philly: ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey hey, guess whose posting another valentine's day related conversation?
> 
> this lonely bitch because i'm all alone and single

philly: dan i hate you

danny: wtf what did i do

philly: the roses you got me are making me sneeze

danny: too bad, so sad

philly: this is your fault

danny: well sorry i wanted to be a nice boyfriend

philly: you should be

danny: wow all i am to you is nice and this is how you repay me

philly: yes because what i did was cuter

danny: okay true but you never told me what bath bomb you used because it smelt really good

philly: oh yeah hold on

danny: thank

philly: it’s called roller

danny: :)

philly: anyways you should get me some allergy medicine

danny: WHY ME

philly: BECAUSE YOU GAVE THEM TO ME

philly: also because you’re the one at the store right now

danny: fine you needy bitch

philly: i love you

danny: i love you too


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of the last chapter being number 21 ;)
> 
> also for tøp winning a grammy

danny: did you see that?

philly: see what?

danny: twenty one pilots’ acceptance speech

philly: yeah i did, it was really cool

danny: why didn’t we do that when we won???

philly: should we have?

danny: yes

philly: we’ll do it next time and say they inspired us

danny: the phandom would break

philly: they would lose their minds

danny: they would freak out like they did in the pastel video when you took your jeans off in front of me

philly: it wouldn’t have been the first time

danny: ;))

philly: ;)

danny: we could just take off our pants now 

philly: that could work ;)


	23. Chapter 23

danny: the internet isn’t working :(

philly: i know :(

danny: what are we supposed to do???

philly: cuddle??

danny: but i’m too comfy

philly: we can just keep texting each other

danny: but that’s boring

philly: we can go outside???

danny: what is this outside you speak of?

philly: oh c’mon we could go to the movies or something

danny: okay that sounds good

philly: well that means you have to get out of bed

danny: as long as i’m having fun with you

philly: that’s cheesy and you know i don’t like cheese

danny: you like cheese on pizza

philly: liSTEN

danny: well anyways get ready so we can leave and get dinner too

philly: fine mr. bossypants

danny: excuse me but last time i checked that was you

philly: but you like it ;)

danny: just get ready you rat


	24. Chapter 24

philly: dan are you going to come out of your room and eat

danny: what’s the point of eating when we’re all gonna die

philly: because i want you alive

danny: but we’re all going to die eventually

philly: but i love you and i want you to stay alive

danny: i’m not saying i want to die but like what’s the point if we’re just gonna die anyway

danny: how can something so simple keep us alive even though at any moment we can die

danny: it’s just so weird that that’s something keeping us alive

philly: and i want you alive so you better come and eat this pasta i made

danny: i’ll be there in a minute i need to crawl out of my blanket cocoon

philly: i love you bear

danny: i love you too lion


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i haven't posted in a while, i've been sick so here's a sick chapter for you

danny: phiiiil

philly: daaaan

danny: i don’t feel good

philly: aw bear

danny: can you get me some medicine?

philly: of course i can. do you want anything else?

danny: maybe some tea aaand

philly: and what?

danny: cuddles 

philly: i’ll be right there

danny: you’re the best boyfriend 

philly: i know

danny: i love you

philly: i love you too


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time to kms

philly: daaaan come help me move the camera

danny: do it yourself

philly: but it’ll take me forever to get this video done

danny: but i’m tired

philly: do i have to remind you who helped you with your last video

danny: uh me, myself and i

philly: oh really

danny: duh

philly: fine i’ll just work on my biceps by lifting the camera and tripod all by myself

danny: *sends heart eyes emoji*

philly: shut up you rat

philly: fine i’ll just delete my channel and never make any videos ever again

danny: nooooo

philly: then please help

danny: ah there it is, the word i’ve been looking for

philly: are you kidding me

danny: nah

philly: ugh

danny: i’ll be there in a sec

philly: :) thank


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you @EmmytheFangirl for this chapter idea!!

danny: hey phil

philly: what’s up

danny: well i’m at the store and i was wonder if you wanted or needed anything

philly: ooh maybe some more marshmallows 

philly: OR more ice cream

philly: OR more of that one tea i like

philly: i forgot the name of it

danny: which one do you want more because i’m not getting you all of those things

philly: but dAAAN PLEASE

danny: you heard what i said the first time didn’t you

philly: please

danny: i said only one

philly: fine i only want you to come home because i’m cold and lonely

danny: oh so now you don’t care about the other things

philly: i only care about you

danny: aw you spork stop trying to kiss my ass

philly: :( i just want you or is that too much to ask for

danny: yes it is but you’re lucky i love you

philly: i love you too :)

danny: you better not eat all these marshmallows and ice cream in the next week or i’m not going to be nice and get you anything

philly: :))


	28. Chapter 28

philly: i’m sad

danny: what why

philly: my laptop charger broke

danny: aw

philly: and i have a live show tonight

danny: you can use my computer

philly: you don’t think people would notice

danny: why would they?? 

philly: i dunno

danny: i’ll just edit while you’re live oooor

philly: or what

danny: you can just borrow my charger until you can get a new one

philly: oh duh why didn’t i think of that

danny: because you’re special

philly: oh shut up

danny: says the one who didn’t think about borrowing my charger

philly: i’m not talking to you for the rest of the night

danny: fine then no charger

philly: whatever you say mum just have fun explaining to the phandom why i’m not doing my live show

danny: oh i will *sends demon emoji*

philly: i hate you

danny: i love you too you spork


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in memory of me losing my nose ring which is probably in my bed somewhere but i'm at school so i can't get it :/

danny: phiiiiil

philly: what

danny: i lost my earrings

philly: i thought you knew where they were

danny: i thought so too but i checked and they weren’t there

philly: well i don’t know what to tell you

danny: did you see them recently

philly: the last time i saw them they were in your ears

danny: wow you’re such a help

philly: i know i know

danny: man i wanted to wear them today :/

philly: brb omw to help

danny: oh wow you only like me for my earrings

philly: you’re cute in them leave me alone

danny: w0w you only want me for my cuteness

philly: obviously

danny: wow this is why i hate you

philly: i love you too

danny: :^)


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of the last chapter being chapter 30

danny: phiiiiiiiiiiiil

philly: daaaaaaan

danny: you’re hot

philly: you’re hotter

danny: how can you be so hot when you’re old it’s not fair

philly: of course that’s what you’re referring to

danny: you’ve been 30 for nearly a month

philly: but i don’t look any different

danny: that doesn’t change the fact that you’re an old man

philly: well you’re the one that’s with me

danny: wow you pull that card

philly: i’m only still here because i’m your sugar daddy

danny: obviously 


	31. Chapter 31

danny: phil

philly: dan

danny: i miss you

philly: i’m literally in the next room

danny: so

philly: but i’m making dinner so

danny: fuck dinner i just want you

philly: cheesy much?

danny: so that means you don’t like me

philly: what i never said that

danny: you called me cheesy and you don’t like cheese

philly: wow

danny: what

philly: you’re a dork

danny: says you

philly: :(

danny: shut up and cuddle me

philly: yes mum

danny: >:-)


	32. Chapter 32

philly: you wanna fight m8

danny: wtf

philly: you took that picture of me sleeping 

danny: well you failed at staying up

philly: and

danny: and you looked really cute and comfy

philly: you should’ve just let me be

danny: what’s the fun in that

philly: that you could’ve cuddled with me instead

danny: you have a point 

philly: i’m still mad

danny: but the internet enjoyed it

philly: wait is this payback of me taking that picture of you sleeping

danny: what no of course not 

philly: >:(

danny: >:)


	33. Chapter 33

danny: are you in the kitchen?

philly: yeah, why?

danny: because i’m thirsty and i don’t wanna get up from my sofa crease

philly: do you want a ribena, a water?

danny: a ribena please and thanks

philly: do you want anything else like a snack?

danny: do we still have doritos left?

philly: yeah and some plain crisps and pringles

danny: can you get me some doritos and i’ll put on a movie for us if you want

philly: ooh yes

danny: any specific type of movie genre?

philly: nope

philly: i’ll be out in a sec i’m making popcorn

danny: i know i can hear you

philly: fine smart alec

danny: i was just letting you know

philly: i’ll be there in a minute

danny: okay


	34. Chapter 34

danny: phiiiil

philly: what

danny: i cracked my phone

philly: how bad is it

danny: pretty bad

philly: then how the hell are you messaging me

danny: i’m on my macbook using my email

philly: ooh

danny: :(

philly: then what do you want me to do

danny: can we go to the apple store and get me a new phone

philly: yeah of course we have nothing else to do

danny: okay i’ll start getting ready

philly: okay i will too

danny: thank you

philly: i don’t care, but you’re welcome

danny: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are getting shorter and shorter. i'm sorry.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of us being blessed by wholesome howell yesterday during phil's live show

philly: why are you cooped up in your room

danny: i’m mad at you 

philly: what, why?

danny: because 

philly: because why

danny: because you made me sit on the floor yesterday

philly: well where else were you supposed to sit, my lap???

danny: yes

philly: imagine how the phandom would’ve freaked out

danny: oh god they would’ve flipped their shit

philly: okay then

danny: you still made me sit on the floor

philly: wow we’ve just been over this

danny: smh you don’t even care 

philly: yes i do !!!!!

danny: smh i’m just gonna go back to editing this video

philly: so that’s what you were doing

danny: obviously

philly: you could’ve just told me that

danny: liste n 

philly: wow 

danny: i was partially telling the truth

philly: nope now i’m mad at you

danny: smh bye you rat

philly: bye loser


	36. Chapter 36

danny: phiiiiiil

philly: daaaaan

danny: come watch e.t. with me

philly: why

danny: because i’ve never seen it and i wanna watch it with you

philly: which room are we watching it in?

danny: can we watch it in yours? 

danny: i wanna cuddle on the bed 

philly: okay i’ll get it set up

danny: thank you ily

philly: ily2 now come over here and cuddle

danny: omw


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm living i love dan and phil

philly: i’m mad at you

danny: oh c’mon it was a funny joke

philly: you only did it for the meme

danny: i gotta live up to my title

philly: but that doesn’t mean you need to bully me

danny: you call that bullying yeah right

philly: you know what? we’re done i can’t do this

danny: whatever you drama queen

philly: i’m packing up and moving out forget my name and face

danny: wow you ratatouille

philly: i can’t do this anymore

danny: what in tarnation

philly: thAT’S IT

danny: bye bitch


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i'm really tired and done with testing, have this really shitty chapter ily guys

**** danny: can you hear

philly: is this what i think it is?

danny: my heart beat

philly: tired of feeling never enough

danny: i close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true

philly: there’ll be no more darkness when you believe in yourself

danny: you are unstoppable

philly: okay i’m calling quits

danny: :( 

philly: i don’t feel like typing the lyrics to history maker at the moment

danny: wow lazy bones

philly: i just wanna sleep

danny: same

philly: well then good night

danny: g’night phil ily

philly: ily2 bear


	39. Chapter 39

danny: i can’t sleep and i miss you

philly: i miss you too 

danny: i can’t sleep without you next to me

danny: and i couldn’t sleep last night either

philly: aw bear you should try and get some sleep soon though

danny: can i skype you?

philly: if that’s what will help, of course ^~^

danny: shut up you’re voice calms me 

philly: what i didn’t say anything!!!

danny: you were thinking it 

philly: no i wasn’t i just find it enduring

danny: shut up and get online

philly: meOW

danny: just please help me sleep i’m getting delusional

philly: at least you can still spell

danny: you have no idea how much i have to check my spelling

philly: i’ll call you in a sec bear, my laptop is loading

danny: :))

 

_ *about an hour later* _

 

philly: you’re so cute when you sleep

philly: sleep good bear, you need it

philly: and remember i love you and i’ll be home tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sick and i feel like shit :))


	40. Chapter 40

danny: phiiiil

philly: i swear most of our texts start off like this

danny: wut do you have a problem m8

philly: no i just think it’s cute

danny: i am not cute

philly: you’re right, you freaking adorable

danny: imma sue

philly: what for telling the truth

danny: for exposing me

philly: like you didn’t already know this

danny: wow just accuse me of loving myself

philly: oh c’mon 

danny: fine but i wanted to tell you something and now you got me sidetracked

philly: what do you want?

danny: i was gonna ask if you wanted me to cook tonight

philly: i mean if you want to 

philly: but i should force you to since you threatened to sue me

danny: wow whatever you spork

danny: i’ll cook dinner bc i love you

philly: yay!!!!! i love you too <3


	41. Chapter 41

philly: i taste you on my lips and i can’t get rid of you

danny: wtf

philly: so i say damn your kiss and the awful things you do

danny: what is happening

philly: you’re worse than nicotine 

danny: what the fuck

philly: it’s panic! at the disco lyrics

danny: i don’t like them tho smh

philly: well it’s stuck in my head so deal with it

danny: welp i could just block you

philly: no pLEASE

danny: what was that?

philly: i’ll sTOP I PROMISE

danny: oh do you now?

philly: yes

danny: fine, you’re lucky i love you

philly: i love you too :)))

danny: you better 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i saw p!@td almost a week ago and i miss them :((


	42. Chapter 42

danny: yo phil

philly: yo danny

danny: ily

philly: ily2

danny: i can’t believe we’re together 

philly: i can’t either

danny: took us long enough

philly: i know right

danny: also how the fuck did we stay on facetime for so long

philly: the world may never know

danny: oh well, i’m just happy it happened

philly: so am i :))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!
> 
> i know it's been a while but a lot of things have happened in my life since the last update.
> 
> on the last update, i posted about my p!@td concert but ever since that concert, my life has been kind of busy but good. i know you guys probably don't really care, and only came here for the wholesome content but i'm still gonna talk about it.
> 
> the weekend after the concert, my best friend told me about someone at our school who has had a crush on me for over a year but hasn't done anything about it. the next day we talked in facetime for over 20 hours and welp now we're in a relationship and it's been amazing. we've been together for almost a month and he makes me the happiest i've been in the longest time i can remember. so far we've been on 4ish dates (3 but we hung out with my best friend and her boyfriend so ???) i've also have been busy with school since this school year is almost over and i can't wait for it to be summer vacation (cue highschool musical 2 music) and a month after school is over, i'm going to go see my favorite band live (twenty one pilots) and i couldn't be more excited!!
> 
> anyways i hope you guys are having a good day/week/month and life. don't worry i'll still be updating this but not nearly as often as i was but i will try my hardest :)) ily guys and thanks for sticking around <3


	43. Chapter 43

philly: daaaaan 

danny: phiiiil

philly: can i use your laptop, it’s next to me on the couch and mine’s in my room and i don’t feel like getting up

danny: i don’t care just don’t get me arrested

philly: oh darn you figured out my plan

danny: wow you loser

philly: ;^)

danny: what the fuck phil

philly: ;^)

danny: i’m scared

philly: dan?

danny: phil?

philly: why is there a phanfic open in one of your tabs

danny: research

philly: research?

danny: yeah i was thinking about doing a video reacting to some of them

philly: really?

danny: yeah why else would i be reading phanfic

philly: i don’t know???

philly: maybe for your own entertainment

danny: why is that what you do?

philly: what?! no!

danny: that’s what they all say

philly: just like you said it was for “research”

danny: i think we both know we’re lying

philly: i think we do

danny: no shame?

philly: no shame

danny: good 

danny: also you better keep that tab open because i was in the middle of a chapter

philly: will do

danny: thanks

philly: ;^)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've had this chapter idea for a while but it's not quite how i imagined it so i might write another chapter dealing with phanfic....maybe with one of them writing it themselves ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	44. Chapter 44

philly: dan?

danny: wut

philly: why do you always assume someone in your audience is a cannibal

danny: i don’t assume it

philly: ???

danny: you see, based on the amount of subscribers i have it’s just very possible that one if not some of my subscribers are cannibals

philly: that doesn’t make sense 

danny: it doesn’t have to make sense to you but at least it makes sense to me

philly: you’re weird

danny: says the weirder one of us two

philly: i think you’re thinking about yourself

danny: uhm no it’s you

philly: stop trying to cover up your weirdness

danny: i’m not! i’m just saying you’re weirder!

philly: try again

danny: wow

philly: ily

danny: i h8 you

danny: jk ily2

philly: nope 

danny: i can’t believe you

philly: ;^)


	45. Chapter 45

danny: yo yo yo bitches

philly: bitches? 

danny: yeah i was referring to myself too

philly: wow

danny: sorry i’ll just leave

philly: nooo!!

danny: fine smh 

philly: what are you even doing?

danny: queueing things on tumblr

philly: i swear you do that all the time

danny: i gotta keep up my aesthetic

philly: you’re face is my aesthetic

danny: smooth

philly: i try

danny: you don’t need too

philly: well i like to smh

danny: fine

philly: fine

danny: ily

philly: ily2


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honor of the rumors that they're moving

philly: daaaaan

danny: what?

philly: you know are lease is almost up on our apartment

danny: yes i know this

philly: aaaand?

danny: maybe i’ve been looking at other apartments

philly: aRE YOU SERIOUS

philly: you could’ve told me, i can help

danny: i was just browsing them on the internet you doof

philly: i know but i still wanna help

danny: you can, i haven’t even found any good ones

philly: yAY

danny: are you really that excited to move?

philly: maybe

philly: because then maybe we can get a dog and then have more space

philly: we should get a house with a huge yard for our dog

philly: or we can get a cat and i’ll take allergy pills

philly: i just wanna own some type of pet with you

danny: we’ll get there when we pick out an apartment or maybe even a house

philly: well i can’t wait

danny: well neither can i

philly: :))

danny: :))


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a chapter based on my hunger and craving for chinese food

danny: phiiiiil

philly: daaaaan

danny: i’m hungry

philly: hi hungry, i’m phil

danny: that’s it

philly: what??

danny: i can’t do this anymore

philly: i’m sorry!!!

danny: oh are you really tho??

philly: yes i swear!!!! also what do you want to eat?

danny: well i can’t have you rn

philly: WOW 

danny: what it’s true

philly: what type of food do you want?

danny: chinese???

philly: that sounds good to me, you want your usual?

danny: yes please

philly: okay i’ll order it now

danny: thank you ily

philly: ily2


	48. Chapter 48

danny: i’m so excited that we’re telling them

philly: so am i but i think a lot of them are going to be disappointed and sad

danny: yeah, i mean i’m gonna miss the apartment too but we’ve needed this for a long time now

philly: we have and i think that they deserve to know even though they would have found out anyways because they are detectives with things like this plus the backgrounds in our videos would have been different than before soooo

danny: that is true i know a lot of them will be happy that we’re moving because they know that we need more storage and more privacy and now mAYBE WE CAN GET A DOG

philly: OHMYGO D WE CAN CAN’T WE

philly: WE HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH SPACE FOR A DOG NOW AND WE’RE ALLOWED TO HAVE PETS

danny: EXACTLY

philly: anyways i need to double check this video to make sure that everything is edited good enough

danny: okay, lemme know when you post it tho

philly: will do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHMYG OD GUYS
> 
> THIS NEW VIDEO WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME  
> anyways this chapter is kind of what i personally think the video is about and what i think the phandom is like with them moving and yes i know that a majority of the phandom is happy that they might be moving but i know that deep down that we're sad and we're gonna miss their apartment because there has been so many things that's happened there but just know that they're probably happy about moving so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who was right?
> 
> this bitch 
> 
> hahahAHAHAH

philly: dan? can you come upstairs and help me with this box

danny: i dunno can i?

philly: dan please

danny: yeah of course, just give me a minute, i’m trying to get a few boxes on the moving truck

philly: okay, don’t hurt yourself

danny: uhm about that

philly: are you serious?

danny: i may or may not have dropped one of the boxes on my foot

philly: that’s because you were distracted by texting me

danny: nuh uh

philly: whatever just come here and help me with this box

danny: eh i guess

philly: smh

danny: dude i’m literally in pain rn

philly: suck it up and get over here

danny: jesus christ fine

philly: yAY!!!

danny: i can’t believe you


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i can't believe this is the 50th chapter! ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

philly: why?

danny: why what?

philly: why did you change your profile picture to that???

danny: why not?

philly: stop

danny: make me

philly: i’ll just change it back

danny: you wouldn’t dare

philly: watch me

philly: i’m just kidding i was just wondering why

danny: because i hated that picture of myself

philly: you’re always cute so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

danny: oh shut up you cornball

philly: nah

danny: bye i can’t do this anymore

philly: bye 

danny: w o w

philly: i’m just kidding

danny: suuuure

philly: fine believe what you want

danny: smh

philly: smh @ you


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fucking hate finals

danny: hey phil

philly: yeah?

danny: i just want to thank you

philly: for what?

danny: for everything but at the moment mainly for inviting me on your family vacation

philly: you’re my family so of course i’d invite you, you deserve a vacation too. i also probably wouldn’t have survived without you with me

danny: still, thank you though

philly: it’s no problem, why wouldn’t i invite my best friend and boyfriend to go with me

danny: you got me there

philly: i love you dan

danny: i love you too phil


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back back, back again 'gain. alex is back back, tell a friend  
> aka school's back in session so i'm starting this back up again.  
> also, i'm starting this chapter off with some true events that has happened to me,,,oops  
> ANOTHER THING BEFORE I LEAVE YOU TO THE CHAPTER, this one is kind of nsfw, just a warning

philly: i literally can’t stop laughing at what happened yesterday 

danny: leave me alone, i still have no idea how that happened

philly: oh come on dan, you know it was funny

danny: it was but i was so close, it wasn't fair

philly: aw why didn't you tell me

danny: because i didn't think you wanted to continue

philly: my boxers just ripped dan, it's not the end of the world

danny: i know, i wish we would've kept going :(

philly: at least we have a funny story to tell our kids later on in life

danny: yeah we're just gonna be like, "hey kids you wanna hear a story about when i was riding your dad and then his boxers ripped???"

philly: oh come on you know it would be funny to tell them when they got older

danny: yeah, i guess you're right

philly: i know i am because i'm still laughing at it

danny: leAVE ME ALONE

philly: just get your ass over here so you can ride me again

danny: okay daddy

philly: good boy


	53. Chapter 53

philly: can i ask you something??

danny: yeah of course you can

philly: what shirt should i wear to meet your grand parents in???

danny: why are you asking me, its not that big of a deal

philly: i've literally met all of your family except for your grand parents

danny: and??

philly: THAT MAKES IT A BIG DEAL

danny: NO IT DOESNT

philly: TO ME IT DOES

danny: okay,,,wear your red and black "ladybug" jumper

philly: thank you baby

danny: just know you don't need to worry, they already love you

philly: i know but still

danny: they know you make me happy and that's all they care about

philly: i'm glad i make you happy

danny: phil, without you i probably wouldn't be the man i am today. who knows if i'd even be alive, i was so depressed and suicidal before i started talking to you

philly: stop, you're making me cry. get over here and hug me you dork

danny: oh stop it, now im gonna cry

philly: then get your ass over here

danny: omw


	54. Chapter 54

danny: phiiiil

philly: daaaaan

danny: i’m bored

philly: hi bored i’m daddy

danny: stop i just wanted to see if you wanted to go anywhere

philly: i was just kidding babe, of course i would want to go somewhere with you

danny: i kind of want to go into town and walk around by the shops

philly: yeah that’s cool, we can go window shopping!!!

danny: yes we can dork

philly: i’m so excited now!!!

danny: hi excited, i’m dad

philly: bye


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im sorry

danny: hey phil

philly: what

danny: what if i asked you if i could fuck your dad

philly: wtf

danny: or like if i could watch your dad fuck you

philly: what is wrong with you

danny: do you want a list?

philly: besides the obvious

danny: well i’ve been thinking

danny: your dad is hot 

danny: and you’re hot

danny: so if y’all fucked that would be extra hot

philly: dan

philly: put the joint down

danny: idk what you’re talking about

philly: and the vodka bottle

danny: stop exposing me

philly: also stop reading fanfic

danny: I DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT

danny: I CANT HEAR YOU

danny: BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH

philly: i’m not even talking to you

philly: im texting you

danny: i can hear your voice

philly: dan go to sleep

danny: DONT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE

philly: you told me you wanted to watch my dad fuck me

danny: and?

philly: WHAT THE FUCK

philly: if you’re not going to sleep, then i am

danny: goodnight bby


	56. Chapter 56

philly: you should give me one of your merch sweaters

danny: bitch buy it yourself

philly: but i live with you

philly: AND IM UR BOYFRIEND

danny: any normal human would buy it to support me

danny: boyfriends are supposed to support each other

philly: but i know you have extras!!!

danny: you don't know that

philly: i helped you with the photoshoot! yes i know!1!

danny: suuuure, i don’t remember you there

philly: we literally snuck off set to get food and make out

danny: i don't know what ur talking about

philly: whatever 

philly: i'll buy ur stupid merch

danny: open ur door loser


	57. Chapter 57

philly: hey dan are you okay?

danny: why’re you asking??

philly: you’ve been cooped up in your room all day and haven’t even come out to eat

danny: i’m not feeling it today

philly: any way i can help??

philly: daaaaanny

danny: maybe you could

philly: how?

danny: come and cuddle me while i cry

philly: okay, i’ll be there in a minute

danny: thank you philly

philly: of course bear

philly: anything for you


	58. Chapter 58

philly: dan?

danny: what?

philly: have you heard of the chair fic?

danny: why?

philly: bc i might’ve just read it

danny: OH NO WHY DID YOU DO THAT

philly: I DIDN’T THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE BAD

danny: BUIEVBUVBHVERI I’M GETTING FLASHBACKS

philly: IT’S SO BAD

danny: poor phil

philly: everything is ruined

danny: oh c’mon it’s not that bad, it’s just a fic

philly: we need to get rid of all the chairs in the house

danny: wtf phil

philly: i can’t look at them the same

danny: how do you think i felt after reading it

philly: like i do, awful

danny: exactly, you’ll forget about it in like a week tho

philly: i hope so

danny: just read another fic to get your mind off of it

philly: buffy x reader here i come

danny: oh no not this again

philly: >:)


	59. Chapter 59

danny: phiiiiiil

philly: daaaaaan

danny: can you get me coffee???

philly: why should i?

danny: because you loooove me

philly: 

danny: PHIIIIIIL

philly: i’m kidding! ofc i love you bitch

danny: then get me coffee

philly: i’m already in line at starbucks

danny: marry me

philly: bitch we’re already married

danny: touche


	60. 4/20 Special

danny: heeeey phiiiil

philly: don't start this shit

danny: you know what day it is B)

philly: daniel

danny: philip

danny: BLAZE IT

philly: DAN I TOLD YOU NOT TO

danny: THIS HAPPENS ONCE A YEAR BITCH

philly: and?

danny: ERFGBIURGBJR JUST LET IT HAPPEN

philly: PUT THE BONG DOWN DANIEL

philly: YOUR ALREADY HIGH

danny: i can't do this anymore

danny: i'm leaving you

philly: shut the fuck up and bring the bong to my room

danny: omw bbyboi


End file.
